GTA style. Just dump your bike and then car jack somebody. #GTAFORREAL

Bret Michaels VIP lounge. #DreamsDoComeTrue

Bit off more than he could chew.

PIMP WAGON

Newest video. My dream of making fun of PBR.

I got to stand behind Nikki Sixx today at the bank. That’s not true. I did stand behind his hair though.

Don’t mess with the bat.

Found him.

Do you need Bedbugs or Roaches? Call this guy. He has what you need.

don’t answer that (NSFW)

I’m doing a series on my blog called “don’t answer that”. In it I respond to or create personal ads on Craigslist. The responses are not quite what the person is hoping for and the ads are just wrong. This week I respond to a man on the Upper East Side who is looking for a lady with a hairy bush. 

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The ad.

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My response.

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(The print is small so read below)

Hi there my name is Genoveve. I actually have a pesky bush in my yard in need of some serious trimming. I saw your ad but had a hard time reading it because I need to change my prescription. A friend of mine told me to look on Craigslist because it’s been very hard to find a nice affordable landscaper in my area. Most are too expensive being on assisted living and all. How much do you charge?

His response.

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At this point I play coy.

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He comes right back with this. 

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At this point I have to let him know that he can’t have my bush but I still need a gardener.

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(Dear Mr. Gentleman,

after sometime searching I found a pair of reading glasses my deceased husband once owned. They had somehow ended up in my old linen closet. Your question seemed a bit odd to me I must admit. I gave your ad a thorough once over and realized by “bush” you were referring to vagina. In my day we called it snatch razzel. Your ad is not at all what I thought it was. Are you a gardener? Now I feel it a bit inappropriate to discuss how hairy I am but, I responded to your ad. Lets just say I got fed up with the maintenance using those single blade razors around the time grunge music was hip. Now I can see by your ad that you are searching for something. I truly hope that you find it.  The question still remains though. How much to trim the bush in my yard? Are you affordable? I would do it myself but my balance isn’t what it used to be. Hope to hear from you soon.)
-Genoveve
That was it for him. Guess he wasn’t the gardener I was hoping for. 

So recently I’ve had the idea to have some fun with the personal ads on Craigslist. They are so ridiculous I just had to. This here is my first attempt. This man is looking for a lady with a HUGE labia. So I responded as someone who barely read his ad and thinks he is looking for a huge labrador. Enjoy.

Thought this was the newest Banksy piece in NYC. Turned out to be someone painting their gate.

Recently did this video for the Kaufman Award submissions. Didn’t get in but I really like how this came out. The idea of doing director’s commentary over my own stand up really tickled me. Being able to get into a stand ups head after a set I think is a really fun concept.

A sad superhero called Foreskin. One half of the duo Horsemeat and Foreskin.

Photo by Diane Landro.